To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare, Hamlet

My life has become such that every text I write, every facebook comment I make, every invitation, every letter, every word I say I think over - because I am so scared of getting it wrong.  Of upsetting someone, anyone.  Of hurting them.  Of being misunderstood.  Right now I do very little because I'm frightened of who I might offend.  This grieves my heart.  I can't even publish this because you might get the wrong idea.

'A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same.'

Friends come and friends go.  But there's nothing worse than when friendship is over before you're ready for it to be.  This can be in so many ways with the most obvious being between boyfriend and girlfriend.  Some good friends of mine have moved away this week to Scotland but that's not friendship over.  I have friends all over the world and just because I don't see them it doesn't mean they're not friends.  No.  I'm talking about something very different.  That gut wrenching feeling when you desperately still want to be friends but you know deep down the feeling isn't reciprocated.  It's dying, it's on it's way out, only somehow you weren't consulted and you're not quite ready.  Your time is spent thinking of what you can do to make it all OK because you're convinced it will be because you're friends aren't you?  And friends survive all sorts, don't they?  If only I can say this, do that, if they realised how much it hurt you, if we could just................... what?  That's just it.  You don't know what, because what won't work anymore, because the friendship is over.  At least as you knew it.  The emotions that accompany all this are terrid (yes terrible and horrid together!) and have to be worked through.  It's like a grief that really only time will help but it isn't time yet and you're so scared it never will be.    You've bored everyone else with it, you've even bored yourself.  And then, suddenly, one day, with no real warning and certainly without doing anything you wake up one morning and you know you're ready.

Ready to say goodbye.

There's an acceptance that it isn't working as a friendship and it probably hasn't been for a while.  You can't change what has happened and certainly the only person you can change is yourself, so you do what you need to do for yourself, to learn and to move on. That's the good thing, moving on.  There are new people out there, just waiting to be discovered and that's exciting if not a little bit frightening, but exciting all the same.

So, here's to new friends as well as to the old ones that still exist and the old ones that are no longer.  Each offering something special into your life so by the time the new ones are old you might just lose less and less friends because you actually are a much better person and therefore a much better friend.

"We all lose friends.. we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on." Amy Marie Walz


“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” C S Lewis

Always live like you're wearing an invisible crown.

I read that quote today and I liked it.  Sometimes Anonymous says the best things.  I'd really like to meet him or her one day.

There's a whole lot of furore going on in the news at the moment with regards to the publication of the photographs of Kate Middleton, sneakily taken of her sunbathing.  I'm sure she feels totally violated that someone would do that to her.  She probably wants to lock the door, stay inside away from what can sometimes be a horrid world especially if you're a Duchess and someone somewhere wants to shatter your world.  But she doesn't.  She can't.  Because she's a Duchess who will one day become Queen and as such she can rise above all of this and enjoy the privileges and meet the people who do love and respect her.

As a child of the King I'm a princess.  That can't be taken away from me because it was bestowed on me by the King himself.  No matter what the world will say or do I am His child and he loves me perfectly.  So today I want to remind myself to put on my invisible crown and go out there and enjoy!